Hotel Project

video, photographs, text, sound

2013\2020-ongoing

The ongoing project, Hotel Project, comprises two main components: a series of photographs and two videos titled 8206 and 1625.

Utilizing the immersive experience of performance within intimate spaces, I aim to evoke a subconscious awareness. This involves engaging with men I’ve encountered online and singing solo, creating an environment where time loses definition and space becomes abstract. Participants, both performers and audience, are transported into a realm of subliminal introspection and interiority.

In the video works 8206 and 1625, I repetitively sing Teresa Teng’s Chinese pop song “Mounting West Tower Alone” until I reach physical and mental exhaustion, reflecting the enduring nature of certain experiences in life. These videos, along with the accompanying series of photographs and text, are all produced within hotel environments—a blend of public and private spaces. This spatial juxtaposition, akin to Foucault’s concept of heterotopia, mirrors the interplay between reality and utopian ideals. This transformation from public to private realms serves as a metaphor for China’s societal evolution, crafted through interpersonal interactions documented in the form of photographic memoirs.  

宾馆项目

影像，摄影，文本，声音

2013\2020-持续

“宾馆项目”是一个持续的项目，现包涵两个主要部分：一系列摄影和两部录像（8206，1625）。我用在私密空间中的沉浸式体验到达一种潜意识层面的游弋，在此，我聆听自己的独唱，与在网络上遇见的男子聊天。

在这样的环境中，时空变得抽象而迷离；表演者和观者从其意识中抽离，进入潜意识的反观和自省。

或许我们生活中的太多就犹如长时间的吟唱一首歌。当然，唤起珍贵的记忆或许是最温柔的贪婪。在行为录像中（8206，1625），我唱了一曲来自邓丽君的国语流行音乐《独上西楼》直到我身心俱疲（大概1小时）。这两部行为录像与一系列摄影和文字的产生同样来自宾馆或公寓。这个拥有的公共和私人的双重性质的异托邦式空间，其使用之间的空间转换或许在中国有一种乌托邦式的隐喻。我通过社会性互动式的创作，拍摄一系列我和我安排在宾馆见面的男子，躺在宾馆床上的照片。并且在这段相遇的时间里，我用手机录下了我们的对话并转译成了文字，作为一种“回忆录”。    

still image from "8206"，2013
Special Thanks: "Landscape Before Death" Workshop (Directed by Tzu-Hung Yang)

still image from "1625"，2020
Special Thanks: The Uncertainty Art Studio/1625 Room

Created through social interaction, this ongoing work intends to reflect something of the life experiences of Chinese gay men. This is a series of photographs taken of men I have arranged to meet in hotel rooms that show us lying on the bed. During these encounters I recorded our conversation on my smart phone and subsequently translated this into text, as a ‘memoir’.

I had first contacted my subjects through popular online dating chat rooms in China and six out of an original list of twenty men agreed to take part. Online, I invited them to lie with me on a hotel bed and I would listen to them talking about memorable experiences – either that had happened to others. Every time of telling and listening are constantly recalling for the memory, and for the reorganization and repetition of the language, which brings once again rethink. I attempt to switch the role of hotel between public and private. As a listener, I intend to embed a desire both to probe and to play a passive role. As a talker, I combine my own perspective and experience, recall a variety of memories to make voice. The truth of the matter is, despite the positive publicity toward Chinese gay men, and as a participant myself in the photos, I find it extremely difficult to continue the piece, but it also makes sense to keep the project going.

• Chat history (on line)

  ---

  This is chat history between me and one of the men.

  Si Wei is my QQ name and Qiu Gouda is the QQ name of the other person chatting with me online. 

  ······························································································································

  Qiu Gouda 22:52:35

  Hi

  Si Wei 22:52:37

  Hi~ Why did you change your name like this? Okay~

  Qiu Gouda 22:52:50

  That’s what I thought

  Si Wei 22:53:25

  Ok

  Si Wei 22:53:59

  As we already knew each other, can you do me a favor? ~~~

  Si Wei 22:54:02

  I’ll be straight with you

  Qiu Gouda 22:54:16

  What’s the matter?

  Si Wei 22:54:30

  ==

  Si Wei 22:56:36

  It’s about a work. There’s some simple information.

  Content: issue concerning homosexuality. “Listening to” the voice of the homosexual.

  This work will be presented in both photos and voice recording. I will start with the dating network commonly used by the homosexual first in Xian (if possible, later I will continue to make this work in wider areas). After seeking out friends on line, I will lie with him on a hotel bed, where he tells his gay story and I “listen to” it with my back against his back.

  Keyword: bed (sense of belonging, freedom, privacy)

  “Listening to” (the current attitude toward the homosexuality)

  Narration

  Qiu Gouda 22:57:20

  What’s next?

  Si Wei 22:57:51

  I want you to do me a favor.

  Si Wei 22:59:05

  I’m looking for all kinds of people

  Si Wei 22:59:10

  So hard

  Si Wei 22:59:22

  I hope you can help me with it

  Qiu Gouda 23:00:08

  It’s difficult and extremely difficult

  You want to expose our privacy

  Si Wei 23:00:32

  Actually, it’s very common

  Si Wei 23:00:54

  I just want people to hear the voice of the homosexual

  Si Wei 23:01:05

  For the benefits of the homosexual

  Si Wei 23:01:13

  And I will respect the other person

  Si Wei 23:01:26

  If he does not want to be exposed of identity

  Qiu Gouda 23:01:38

  How to respect? How to grantee the privacy?

  Si Wei 23:01:37

  I will make it blurry

  Si Wei 23:02:08

  ？

  Qiu Gouda 23:02:14

  Voice or face or all parts?

  Si Wei 23:03:00

  Of course, face

  Si Wei 23:03:06

  I will only take one photo at the end

  Si Wei 23:03:10

  Our photo with you and me

  Si Wei 23:03:15

  What’s it you gave me?

  Qiu Gouda 23:03:22

  How will you handle our photo?

  Si Wei 23:03:32

  If you don’t want to show you face, I will make it blurry.

  Si Wei 23:03:54

  My last friend was willing and I did not blur the picture. I will send you a smaller photo.

  Qiu Gouda 23:04:11

  Let me see

  Si Wei 23:04:16

  Ok

  Si Wei 23:04:33

  I will send you the smaller one for privacy.

  Qiu Gouda 23:04:46

  Ok

  Si Wei 23:04:57

  There you go

  Si Wei 23:05:16

  The one on the right is me

  Si Wei 23:05:24

  I was listening, back to back

  Qiu Gouda 23:05:37

  How many people have you done with this thing?

  Si Wei 23:05:41

  I just started

  Si Wei 23:05:46

  He was the first

  Si Wei 23:05:57

  On July 6

  Si Wei 23:05:59

  Very hard to find one

  Si Wei 23:06:06

  I wanted to find you

  Si Wei 23:06:09

  But you changed your name

  Si Wei 23:06:12

  I couldn’t find you

  Si Wei 23:06:19

  It is such a coincidence to find you today

  Qiu Gouda 23:06:27

  Did you go back to Xi’an?

  Si Wei 23:06:25

  Yeah

  Qiu Gouda 23:07:35

  My attitude is

  My privacy cannot be revealed and we must sign a contract in duplicates sealed with our own names.

  Or not

  Si Wei 23:08:06

  How do you define privacy disclosure?

  Qiu Gouda 23:08:25

  You know how to PS?

  Si Wei 23:08:28

  But the work shall be exhibited and I can only guarantee you the treatment of a blurred picture.

  Si Wei 23:08:39

  Audio shall be original

  Si Wei 23:08:48

  Nothing more

  Qiu Gouda 23:08:54

  Can you alter the voice?

  Si Wei 23:09:02

  The voice can’t be altered

  Si Wei 23:09:09

  It needs to be original

  Si Wei 23:09:15

  Otherwise, this work would be nonsense

  Qiu Gouda 23:09:37

  I have to pass. I can’t do that with my current identity

  Qiu Gouda 23:09:52

  It’s about my immigration

  Si Wei 23:10:06

  Come on

  Si Wei 23:10:18

  I will exhibit my work at least after two years

  Qiu Gouda 23:11:01

  My immigration plan will also be initiated later and no accidents are allowed during the whole process from the initiation to the issuance of visa

  Si Wei 23:11:20

  But there will be no problem with the voice

  Qiu Gouda 23:11:49

  Absolutely not

  You will not help me~~

  Qiu Gouda 23:16:09

  It’s not like that

  I have made my requirements sound and clear. I just want to protect my personal privacy. Should the society accepted, I had no problem with it.

  I really have difficulty meeting that high requirement

  Si Wei 23:16:42

  I still cannot understand

  Qiu Gouda 23:17:03

  Whatever

  Si Wei 23:17:04

  What’s wrong with letting more people know about stories of the homosexual?

  Si Wei 23:17:14

  The face will be blurred

  Qiu Gouda 23:17:20

  None of my business

  Qiu Gouda 23:17:33

  Who cares about the fucking understanding? None of my business

  Si Wei 23:18:07

  So you’d rather be an outsider all the time

  Si Wei 23:18:13

  being afraid of things

  Si Wei 23:18:23

  Although the aim will not be reached in one move

  Si Wei 23:18:40

  it’s always better to contribute even just a little

  Qiu Gouda 23:20:07

  I’m expecting destiny. It’s ideal to have it. Having it or not doesn’t matter,

  I will have nothing to do with China in a couple of years when my immigration visas is successfully issued.

  Qiu Gouda 23:20:31

  I’m not so philanthropic

  Si Wei 23:20:45

  Okay ~~~~~

  Si Wei 23:20:47

  Thanks

  Qiu Gouda 23:21:05

  Why do you thank me? I couldn’t help. I could not take it.

  Si Wei 23:21:20

  Thanks for listening to me for so long

  Qiu Gouda 23:21:36

  No problem

   

• The Book-Our Stories (audio recording,excerpt)

  When I was in primary school, I felt kind of an interest in school boys. Do you get it? The feeling is very direct and obvious. Then in my junior middle school, in grade 2, it was the first time I felt fond of a boy who was my best friend in school. When we were in grade 1, nothing special happened. We just played and did everything together. However, in grade 2 things got changed and I felt we were no longer ordinary friends. I was shocked: “oh my God, am I really a gay”? That’s so terrible, never. However, gradually, I tended to change my mind, since I could do nothing if it was really the case. I was too young to believe homosexuality could be accepted. Although I know I liked him, I could not tell. He was still always around me every day, which made me very depressed and restless.

  I heard about Homosexuality during my childhood, so when I got that special feeling, my first response was “oh, it could be homosexuality”. I would not tell this to the distant relatives of my family such as my aunt (my Mather’s sister); however, my grandfather, grandmother, my sister, and my aunt (my father’s sister shall know this. I do not care they allow or not, and I will tell them straightly. Now only my elder sister in my family knows the secret. My younger sister also asked me if I like the male. As she is young, she knows this a little anyway. She even asked me whether I was a gay in her high school, but it was difficult to tell her the fact. She is too conservative to accept my real situation, so I didn’t tell her clearly. But as my sister, she surely noticed something. My elder sister also asked me before, but I did not dare to tell her that before. However, when I told, she accepted it graciously. Anyway, she learned animation in the university, and could understand the homosexual culture. The difficulty is that, I do not dare to let my grandparents know about it, since they are old, and I don’t want to bring them any troubles. What’s more, they have been deeply frustrated by my parents.

  At that time, a department invited my father and some other managers to have dinner together, so father took my mother and me. We drove motorbikes from our factory in town to the city. Each motorbike could only take two people, so my father’s colleague took me on a motorbike following behind. When we nearly reached an intersection, I heard my father’s colleague’s wife crying and making gestures in haste. I thought there might be an accident. When I got closer I heard people say something like a car accident occurred to my parents. I thought they might be injured. But, when I detoured around the car, I was totally in panic, because I saw my parents lying on the ground motionlessly with a big pool of blood. Now I can still remember clearly, the blood was very thick. My brain was completely blank, and I was speechless. Squatting on the floor, I felt their pulses, only a little. I did not cry for them, and I remembered my mother’s hand was still moving. I had no idea why I did not cry for them, perhaps, I was completely scared.

  It was far from downtown, perhaps due to traffic jam, I remembered the ambulance arrived after such a long time. I did not cry before, as I was totally stupefied because of the shock. I do not remember a nurse or a doctor turned my mother over first. I was scared, because of losing too much blood, her lips were completely purple, and the pupils were horrible. I was totally scared. Then, they examined and told that my mother died on the spot. I felt dizzy, weak, and almost fell down. After that, they turned over my father. For the first time of my life, I saw bleeding profusely from the head, ears, nose, mouth, and even eyes. Although they told my father still had hope to survive. But, you know it had already in that condition. I had heard of children without parents, but I had never thought it could happen to me. All of a sudden! Then my father’s colleagues began to contact with family members, and I cried when I heard my aunt’s voice. Ah ~ (SOB), perhaps, I suppressed too long, I cried so loudly (pause). And I did not know, what my aunt said at that time. My aunts asked me “is that true about your mother?” with tearful red eyes. I nodded with tears falling down my cheeks ceaselessly.

  As a matter of fact, I was really in good relationship with my mother. My father always worked outside, and sometimes, we slept in one bed. My mother always said she needed to lose weight, especially her belly. I was preparing for my senior high school entrance examination of physical education, and my mother asked me to do sit-ups together with her. Every night, we soaked the foot in a basin together. My mother way funny, and she told me all the troubles happened in her factory. My mother was not happy in the factory then, and she wanted to quit her job. In that summer, I finished my exam and she quit her job, which was why we went to see my father.

  I felt gay could have good relationships with my mother, which has nothing with me. I felt, if my mother was alive, I would tell her about it. Because we had talked a lot. But I believe she might have noticed of that already. She always said I had no feelings of manhood, but like a girl in many respects. She would tell me she can understand if I tell her earlier unhappily. My mother was not conservative anyway. Before, I thought my parents were strict with me. We lived together for a long time, so I always thought it was not easy for them to accept it. But, now, I have no pressure. My grandparents were old; I will try my best to endure it so as to bring no trouble to them. This is no trivial at all, and they can certainly not accept it. My aunt (my father’s sister) could not understand this and care about me, since we were not so close. That is just what I think, and I do not care whether they know it or not. Now, only my sister knows this. I am twenty now, and at least there are seven or eight years for me to reach the age of marriage. Let me endure these years first.

  I will definitely not marry, and I am clear about myself. Many people have asked me about marriage, and they are afraid of pressures from parents. But, I am sure I will not marry. I may consider of a pretending wedding, but the chance is little. I can never accept a real marriage. My uncle, who married someone unfamiliar with her at 39 years old, was actually forced by my grandmother and my aunt. At that time, I was terribly annoyed. At my uncle’s wedding party, the received the guests in the hall. But I remember a scene quite clearly: my uncle stand there with studied nonchalance, and I did not know what he was thinking. I can figure out, my uncle cared about nothing then. But I see his wife, my aunt, lowering her head and smiling with heartfelt joy with her hands full of flowers. I felt so pity for her. She thought she had formed a family, but the truth was, my uncle…

  A pretending wedding is no good. Now, only my family members do not know that. I mentioned to my grandmother that I would neither marry nor have a child from time to time. But the relatives told her that I should marry and have a child, and urged her to ask me to find a girl friend.

  It was after the accident of my parents that I get involved in this circle.